How to Love Your Midlife Body: Stop Missing Your Younger Body

Let me tell you something I wish more women would say out loud:

I miss my 20-year-old body sometimes. 

There. I said it.

I’m a movement specialist. I’ve spent more than 40 years helping people move, get stronger, feel better, and understand their bodies.

And yes, I know all the right things to say.

I know our bodies change as we age.

I know muscle mass changes. Hormones change. Recovery changes. Our metabolism changes. Our skin changes. Our bodies don't necessarily respond to exercise the way they did when we were 25.

I KNOW.

But knowing something intellectually and feeling it emotionally are two very different things.

Because every once in a while, I’ll see an old picture of myself and think:

“Damn, Cat. Look at you!” 

And then I'll look at myself now and think...

“Okay. Where did SHE go?” 

Maybe you've had that moment too.

But here's what I've realized...

That woman in the picture isn't supposed to come back.

And honestly?

I don't think I want her back. 

She was younger, sure.

But she didn't know what I know now.

She hadn't lived the life I've lived.

She hadn't experienced the things I've experienced.

She hadn't learned what I've learned about her body, her health, her strength, her resilience, or herself.

And she certainly didn't have the perspective I have now.

So why am I comparing my 69-year-old body to a body that belonged to a completely different woman?

That's like comparing the first chapter of a book to chapter 20 and complaining that the characters aren't the same.

Of course they're not. 

Your body isn't failing you. It's telling your story.

I think we have been taught to look at aging as something we need to fight.

Wrinkles? Fight them.

Gray hair? Cover it.

Weight gain? Get rid of it.

Changing body shape? Fix it.

And don't even get me started on the pressure women feel to somehow look 30 when they're 50, 60, or 70.

I'm not interested in fighting my body anymore.

I'm interested in working with it. 

Because this body has gotten me through a lot.

It's carried me through decades of movement.

It's taken me through workouts, injuries, stress, celebrations, disappointments, careers, relationships, and all of the normal—and not so normal—stuff life throws at us.

And now, at 69, I'm not asking my body to look like it did at 29.

I'm asking it to keep showing up for me. 

That's a completely different goal.

I don't want to be 29. I want to feel good at 69.

That's the conversation I wish more of us were having.

Instead of:

"How do I get my old body back?" 

Let's ask:

"How do I make the body I have today stronger?" 

How do I improve my balance?

How do I maintain muscle?

How do I keep my joints moving?

How do I protect my bones?

How do I have enough energy to do the things I want to do?

How do I get down on the floor and get back up without making it a production?

How do I carry my own groceries?

How do I travel?

How do I keep doing the things that make me feel like ME?

That's what I'm interested in. 

Because I don't need to be smaller.

I need to be capable. 

And I'm going to say something that may surprise you...

I'm not against wanting to look good.

Of course I want to look good!

I'm a woman.

I like clothes. I like feeling good when I look in the mirror. I like taking care of myself.

But I don't want my appearance to be the only thing I value about my body.

Because there's a big difference between wanting to look good and believing you aren't good enough because you don't look like you used to. 

Those are two very different things.

And I refuse to spend the rest of my life standing in front of a mirror criticizing a body that has worked pretty damn hard to get me here.

So what does loving your midlife body actually look like?

For me, it doesn't mean I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say:

"Oh my gosh, Cat! You are absolutely fabulous!" 

Let's be real.

Some mornings I'm looking at myself thinking:

"Well...that's new." 

😂

That's life.

Body love isn't necessarily about loving everything you see.

Sometimes it's simply about stopping the war. 

It means I don't punish myself with exercise because I ate something I enjoyed.

I don't starve myself because my jeans feel tighter.

I don't spend hours wishing I looked like the woman in an old photograph.

Instead, I move.

I lift.

I stretch.

I work on mobility.

I pay attention to how I feel.

I give my body what it needs.

And I try to appreciate what it can still do.

Because here's what nobody tells you about getting older...

One day, you're going to look back at this body and wish you had appreciated it more.

Think about that.

The body you're criticizing today?

There may come a day when you'd give anything to have this exact body again.

That thought has changed the way I look at myself.

I don't want to spend my 60s wishing I looked like I did in my 20s.

Because someday, I might look back at photos of myself at 69 and think:

"Girl...you had it going on!" 

And I don't want to miss that moment because I was too busy criticizing myself.

So here's my challenge to you.

Pull out an old photograph.

Look at that younger version of yourself.

Don't criticize her.

Don't compare her body to yours.

Just smile at her.

Because she got you here.

Then look at yourself today.

Really look.

Look at the woman who has survived things that younger you couldn't have imagined.

Look at the strength.

Look at the experience.

Look at the resilience.

Look at everything that body has carried.

And instead of saying:

"I wish I looked like that again." 

Try saying:

"Thank you." 

Thank you for getting me here.

Thank you for continuing to show up.

Thank you for healing.

Thank you for moving.

Thank you for carrying me through another year.

Because this isn't the body I had in my 20s.

It's the body I have now. 

And I'm going to take care of her.

I'm going to challenge her.

I'm going to nourish her.

I'm going to move her.

I'm going to listen to her.

And yes...

I'm going to have a little Cattitude about it.

Because getting older isn't about trying to become the woman you used to be.

It's about becoming the strongest, healthiest, most confident version of the woman you are now. 

And honey...

She's worth taking care of. 

I believe everyone has the right to feel good in their body.

At 20. At 40. At 60. At 69. And beyond. 

Your body doesn't have an expiration date.

So stop mourning the body you used to have.

Start appreciating the one that's still carrying you forward.