Journey to Freedom: Conquering Addictive Behaviors through Empathy and Kindness

Breaking free from addiction is a deeply personal journey—one that requires understanding, strategy, and celebration. In this revealing episode of Why Not Wellness, I shared my 33-year milestone of quitting smoking and the lessons I've learned that apply to overcoming any addictive habit.

My smoking journey began like many others—through social pressure and stress management. As a new mother entering the military, I felt left out when everyone else took smoke breaks. What started as a way to fit in gradually became a coping mechanism for stress. This illustrates an important point about addiction: we rarely start habits thinking they'll become dependencies. Instead, they often begin innocently, only to evolve into something that feels impossible to shake. Understanding this progression is the first crucial step toward change.

The turning point in my quitting journey came when my doctor delivered a sobering reality check. After developing bronchitis, he warned me that each year I continued smoking, the illness would return and last longer. This health consequence, combined with wanting to be healthier for my son, provided the compelling "why" that ultimately drove my success. Without a strong personal motivation, most attempts to break addiction fail because the immediate discomfort outweighs a vague desire for change. Your "why" must be powerful enough to sustain you through difficult moments of craving and temptation.

My approach to quitting wasn't cold turkey—I recognized my addictive nature and knew that taking something away completely would only intensify my cravings. Instead, I gradually reduced nicotine levels and cigarette quantity until I was down to just four per day. This gradual approach works for many addictions, whether it's sugar, shopping, or screen time. The key is not to overwhelm your system with deprivation but to slowly recalibrate your dependence. For anyone struggling with addiction, remember that small reductions can lead to significant change over time.

Perhaps the most valuable strategy I discovered was finding something to do with my hands. Within five minutes of engaging in an alternative activity, I would forget about wanting a cigarette. This technique works remarkably well for many addictions—when the urge strikes, redirect your energy into a productive alternative that occupies the same physical or mental space as the addiction. Coupled with an accountability partner (in my case, my son who asked me daily if I had smoked), these practical interventions created a structure for success.

The psychological aspect of breaking addiction cannot be overlooked. I discovered the power of stringing together days of success—starting with just getting through one day, then five days, then aiming for ten. Each successful day became a victory to be celebrated, reinforcing my new identity as a non-smoker. I literally marked each successful day on my calendar, creating a visual representation of my progress. This celebration of small wins is crucial for long-term success with any behavior change.

Mindset truly is everything when breaking addiction. If you begin the journey believing you'll fail because past attempts weren't successful, you've already undermined your efforts. Instead, approach each moment as its own opportunity for success—take it hour by hour if necessary. Remember that overcoming addiction is a journey, not a destination, and setbacks don't erase your progress. After 33 years without smoking, I still celebrate my quit anniversary every August because I recognize the significance of this achievement in my life.